i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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