there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't turn off my feet"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
