Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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