i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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