they need to just BURY HIM!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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