we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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