yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
