Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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