Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize