she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
