Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize