So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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