So drunk, too bad you don't want this
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
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I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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