dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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