Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
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