how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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