so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
