Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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