i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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