just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
