She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
