i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
