I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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