u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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