I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
