Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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