I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
