so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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