Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
