These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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