do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
