I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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