"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
