wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
