So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
