i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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