She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
