Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
