So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm both gender and math confused
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
