well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
