So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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