Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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