Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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