i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
