Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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