when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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