She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
