Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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