I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
