Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
