I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize