I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
