i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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