bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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