FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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