I'm lost and stupid without you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
