its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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