remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
