just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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