No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
