i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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