i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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