College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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