I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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