i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
