he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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