Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
